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- I don't have a relationship with my Dad, here's why 🙏🏼🫀
I don't have a relationship with my Dad, here's why 🙏🏼🫀
Brooke Nolly
September 27, 2023
Navigating toxic people, even when it’s family…
I’ve had my fair sure of familial strain in the last 10 years. In particular, with my Dad.
I spent just shy of a decade umming and ahing as to whether I should have him in my life.
Buddhists would say that you must smooth things over with your parents and make amends.
Religion would say we’re all created in the name of God and forgiveness is our only source of freedom.
New age spirituality would say ‘you’ve got karma with this person from a past life that you’re here to clean up’.
After years of experiencing guilt, shame, pity, embarrassment, resentment, anger, grief, helplessness, depression and more, I decided to finally draw a line in the sand and say no more.
I don’t have my Dad in my life.
I don’t want my Dad in my life.
People have said:
“But he’s still your Dad”
“What if he passes away and you’re on bad terms with him”
What I notice about humans is they project their fears onto you.
It’s been hard. It’s also a choice I made purely out of self love.
I asked myself this question many times:
“If he wasn’t my Dad, would he be in my life?”
The answer was a no.
“Does having him in my life bring love or pain?”
It brought pain.
I’d like to give you a permission slip to let yourself feel what you feel and don’t make yourself wrong if you don’t want someone in your life. Even if they’re family. Even if they’re ‘trying’.
I spent so many years and thousands of dollars trying to self help my way into a loving relationship with my Dad. Personal development, therapy, coaching and self reflection to conclude: I can let it go, I am safe.
What are you holding onto that feels confusing and difficult?
You’re gonna be ok.
You are safe.
You are loved and supported.
I hope this helps.
Forward this to someone that might need it 💖
If you’re interested in working with me, you can book a call here: https://calendly.com/brookenolly
Here’s to…
In case you missed it the other day, here’s a podcast episode I did on toxic relationships
