I Would Have Been Pushed Out If I Hadn’t Quit... 😮‍💨 + The Curve Feature

I quit my job in October of 2017.

I would have likely been pushed out if I hadn’t quit because I was rapidly fading away and had nothing to give.

The honest truth is, I didn’t care about the role I was hired for or the jobs I was constantly tasked to do.

I was hired to be a Corporate Services Manager. I hated it, loathed it, despised it. I wound up doing a lot of everything; HR, EA to the CEO, minutes in board meetings, running the ops for the guys doing international launches, dinners with Visa and Mastercard, running onboarding, entertaining Russian employees, visa prep, managing company credit cards, reconciling invoices with the accounts team, exit interviews, culture work, receipt bank, organising events, ordering office supplies - the list was endless and… thankless.

The CEO had every right to be pissed at me because I was an ‘under performer’ when it came to the tasks he set out. He also had unrealistic expectations and no right to disrespect and bully me. 

Here’s some example screenshots (and I hope I don’t get sued for defamation… lol)

For context, I wasn’t under the HR team, he was my direct report. 

“also, if you want I can collect feedback from other people with whom you worked” hmmm, so you can absolutely annihilate the shell of confidence I have left? No thanks. 

The truth is, I wasn’t a good hire. I am not wired for admin. Responding to tasks, respecting authority figures and getting it all done without a fuss is not in my DNA.

I was not suitable. Set up for failure and tasked to get things done that I had no experience in.

He was right, I was a terrible culture fit. I wasn’t wired for this kind of environment. 

I was 25, if I knew what I know now, I would have respected myself enough to walk out. 

Instead…

🤫 I hid

😩 I let anticipatory anxiety consume me

😰 I lived in fear

🙈 I avoided 

👋 I hoped it would go away 

It didn’t. 

Looking back on this, I am so grateful. 

At the time, I felt like I was dying. 

To this day, I have never experienced anything more hard or more painful than the 4 months I worked at this company.

I left that role with a shell of confidence. 

I was not myself. 

I genuinely believed I had no skills, no worth and that I’d never amount to anything. 

Every ounce of my confidence was gone. 

I eventually learned my worth had nothing to do with competence or output and that doing what I thought I should do vs what actually suited me was my homecoming and reckoning.  

 I wrote an article for The Curve about my experience in corporate, you can read it here

Moral of this email? 

 Living out of alignment robs you of confidence.

If you’re a people person or born coach/creative; get out of soul destroying administrative roles where you report to dictators. 

If you’re in a job you hate, that you can’t pretend to tolerate anymore, leave. 

There are no rewards for self punishment and endurance.

I believe in you,

Brooke 🦋

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Here’s to…

Brooke’s website: https://brookenolly.com/

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