My 1:1 Clients Desire Peace & Freedom 🏝️⌚️

At the core of it, my 1:1 clients always desire peace and freedom. 

They crave to feel peaceful and free. 

Often, when we begin working together, they have a lot more freedom than they’ve ever had. 

But for some reason they can’t quite ‘feel’ it. 

If they can’t feel it, what’s the point? 

I work with women who feel trapped. 

They’re not trapped but they’ve adhered to a lot of obligation and duty. 

Like their life isn’t quite their own. 

Did they really choose motherhood?

Did they really choose their spouse?

Or…

did it all just… happen? 

They have glimpses of freedom, sovereignty, self direction and life on their terms and then…

Something or someone will come along and throw it off. 

Kids will get sick.

Unexpected bills will occur.

They will get sick. 

A financial burden will come their way. 

Something out of the blue will rock their peace. 

A drama they cannot foresee will come knocking. 

Julia Cameron (who wrote the artist’s way) speaks of something similar. When the artist is blocked and not creating, all of a sudden there’s a dramatic situation thrust upon them that they couldn’t possibly ignore; a highly volatile and demanding friend in need of ‘urgent’ help, a sick family member that needs ample food prepared and on it goes. It keeps them busy, obligated, tired, worn out, burnt out and not able to create.

It’s an excuse not to step into their power and genius.

Something ‘beyond’ their control, is forcing them out of their ‘desire to create’.

It’s not their fault.

Cue… the victim of the drama triangle.

They remain not peaceful and certainly not… free.

It’s familiar.

It’s also not what they actually want.

My clients are familiar with obligation, getting the dregs, unhealthy family dynamics, addict parents, narcissistic humans and emotionally abusive situations. 

As children, young adults and often well into adulthood, they couldn’t ‘get free’ of it so they got really really good at managing it.

The problem is, they’re no longer in that exact situation but they continually end up in similar dynamics as the rescuer or the one that has to sacrifice something (usually their own desires).

Remember what Julia Cameron said? 

Where in your life do you let things get kinda good but not tooooo good. 

Where are you opting for comfortable ignorance vs uncomfortable truth?

My clients are often so used to being trapped in obligation and shoulds they fail to see they’re ‘allowed’ to live in possibility, opportunity and abundance. 

My clients don’t believe they have permission to let people down, so they let themselves down, over and over again. 

As a result, they wind up bee-lining to the fridge to eat and binge watch the feeling of being ‘trapped’ and helpless, away. 

Or, they believe a massage or yoga class here and there is ‘self love’.

Enduring suffering, enduring mediocrity and tolerating what you don’t want is self punishment.

When clients finally work with me, they’re ready for self nourishment aka self love. 

Perseverance when you don’t like it = punishment 

Saying yes, when you wanna say no = punishment 

Eating all the snacks in sight and binge watching TV = punishment 

Trying to rescue, encourage and change your partner = punishment 

My clients self punish when they believe they have no control over their lives.

When they’re afraid of their emotions. 

When they’re afraid of the unknown.

When space to cry is far scarier than burning out with nothing left to give. 

My clients know what it’s like to have their power taken away from some outside source. 

What my clients begin to understand when they work with me is, they’re not powerless anymore. 

Their childhood is over. 

That toxic relationship dynamic is over. 

It was oftentimes 20-40 years ago. 

My clients have endured years of people pleasing, abusive dynamics and not using their voice. 

The self punishment makes so much sense. 

They often find it easier to hide, withdraw and avoid than say no and mean it. 

When clients commit to working with me, we change that. 

Life begins to look a lot like something they actually want; not something that chose them and they’re not quite sure how or if they actually consented to it. 

By the time they commit to 1:1 with me, their current life is no longer what they’d choose and they want support in changing it. 

I help them see they have the freedom to choose differently and together, we take one aligned messy action at a time toward a future they’re excited to experience.

Book a discovery call with me ⬇️

P.P.S. - check out my feature in Stuff New Zealand that came out today👇🏼

Vision boards: Why this millennial wellness trend is back

Here’s to…

Brooke’s website: https://brookenolly.com/

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