Do people constantly take from you?

Hey

This morning I was reading a friends newsletter, she had shared 40 lessons she had learned over her 40 years of life. They were all exceptional.

One of the statements jumped out at me and I felt compelled to share my thoughts on it because it’s two fold for me. 

The lesson was: 

30. “Listen more than you speak, and leave space before speaking. Let people finish what they are saying.”

I absolutely agree with this. It denotes respect, it means I value who I’m speaking with, it shows I’m present and it’s exactly how I’d like to feel when I am in communication with someone. 

I live by and practice this as much as possible until…

A person offloads a lot, doesn’t take action, takes more than they give and expects me to listen over respecting my time. 

Here’s what I commented on the Substack: 

My insights around:

“Listen more than you speak, and leave space before speaking. Let people finish what they are saying.”

I have a hard time listening to stuff I don’t want to listen to because I’ve either heard it a million times, I have a solution or it’s further perpetuating unhelpful patterns.

It’s like someone is complaining they’re thirsty and as a coach you sell bottled water for a living but all they want to do is continually tell you about the different layers of thirst and how hard it is for them to find water.

It’s been a lesson for me in tightening up who I allow in my world because people love to offload and not spend money or actually get help.

My entire life and career has been dedicated to listening and honestly, it’s a privilege if I decide to listen, no one is entitled to it.

The lessons I continually learn are:

1. Don’t hang out with those people on a social level, it’s not a value add for either party, especially when you’re a coach and listen to this sort of stuff as a profession. It’s also not doing the other person a favour because they’re going to feel dismissed, like what they’re saying doesn’t matter because I don’t have patience or capacity for free advice and/or space holding so I’ll want to interject and speak, which isn’t useful for either person and is a way my ego tries to sabotage the dynamic so I can walk away. This is not loving connection and teaches me to be more discerning about what brings me fulfilment in relationships. 

2. It exhibits a lack of self responsibility to emotionally offload and then not do anything about it. It exhibits a lack of boundaries on my behalf to allow this kind of false connection into my life. 

3. People get results when they’re invested and unless they pay money, they’re not invested and it’s taking from you.

   I find most of the people I’m describing here don’t have a community they’re seen or heard in and/or don’t get consistent/regular therapy or coaching, meaning, they don’t value themselves enough to pay money for solutions and support.

4. Offer them your work if you know you can help them shift into a healthier and more nourishing way of being.

5. If they say no or are offended, you just lightened the load on your energy expenditure and they learned a useful lesson, too.

Let me know if this resonates. If so, there may be a bit of purging to be had. 

Next Sunday, 12th November we kick off the 5-Day Money Maker Challenge - it’s all about the purge to re-emerge a more aligned, richer version of yourself. You may not realise this but a lot of your connections are keeping you broke, tired and uninspired. 

Join us, 20% of all proceeds go to a charity we choose, together. 

(The software didn’t update the dates in my previous email, it’s 100% beginning Sunday, 12th Nov, not this weekend)

Who this challenge is for: 

💵 You want to energetically upgrade the hell out of your standards, beliefs and money maker abilities. 

💵 Those who want to let go of outdated beliefs and cycles they find themselves stuck in

💫 Spiritually minded folks that believe in a higher power

💸 Those who want to learn the energetic principals to attract, make, earn and receive more money 

❣️ Those who crave to feel financially empowered, consistent and on top of their messy action commitments 

✍🏼 Those willing to journal 40 minutes + per day throughout the challenge

Who is it not for:

😵‍💫 Folks not willing to let go of what they know they don’t want

💻 People that aren’t committed to the 5-Days (even if it ends up taking you 10 to complete, we don’t mind, we just want you to finish what you start so you get the results we promise) 

😳 Skeptics and perfectionist avoiders

 🤫 Those not willing to journal 

NB: this is not specifically for business owners, this is for anyone that wants to positively overhaul their financial affairs.

We’ll see you, in our community, for our first kick off call

Forward this to a friend who may need it 💫

Here’s to…

Brooke’s website: https://brookenolly.com/

P.S. Here is my friends 40 Lessons post, if it resonates, please subscribe to her insights!