The Last Members Club Burnt Me Out 🥵

I’m still recovering from this past weekend where we hosted the R&R spring retreat at Sandhãna on Waiheke Island with 7 incredible women from Aus & NZ. 

That pesky voice is in my head demanding that I launch members club 2.0 asap because the end of the year is near.  

I am going to share a reality with you. 

I’m resisting because I haven’t wanted to launch this next round. 

Why? 

The last round burnt me out. 

I gave more than I had capacity to give, I under charged for the duration, I was available whenever anyone needed me and I exerted far more energy and effort because… I cared and also, I didn’t know, what I know now. 

One of my fav quotes is: “you can’t be what you can’t see” - now I see what I no longer want to be.

Needed.

I had to go through that experience. I had to over give, then be told I wasn’t giving enough. I had to then sit in the reality I was not meeting an expectation a member had of me and I wasn’t available to meet this unrealistic ask. It was a process and it gave me space to better understand how I was delivering and what I would do differently next time. 

This is conscious business and conscious leadership. 

The members club was an enormous success. 

It was a success at the expense of a lot of my energy though and that’s not the kind of business I want to build. 

Clients can be total cu***. I have had my fair share of them over the past 7 years. They forget you’re human and become so incredibly entitled. It’s up to us as coaches to tune into what we are and aren’t available for.

I grew up in codependent relationships with my parents where love was received only if I met their expectations or I was needed, it was about what I could do for them, it was never about me.

Maybe you can relate?

I can often default to giving to others because ‘their needs are greater than mine’. 

My core wound has been “I am only loveable if I am valuable or useful to someone else”

or

“I receive love when I am needed.” 

I am re-writing this narrative and couldn’t be more grateful for this past year. 

This was showing up everywhere in my business (and relationships) until I was able to make the unconscious, conscious.

Until I went to NYC and started living for me, more.

It’s a new layer of the onion and as I always say to my clients, new level, same devil. 

The retreat was an enormous success, the reviews have been outrageous and the love we all shared was beyond what I knew was humanly possible.

This week I am tired. 

I am tired in a good way. 

A satisfied way. 

That pesky voice is urging that members club 2.0 be launched ASAP.

It will be, it’ll just be done my way this time. 

The energy I launched the last members club in was one of 

“can I actually do this?” 

“I took 18 months off my business, I’ve forgotten how to coach” 

“I can’t charge more than x, who will pay that”

The reality is when we get hit with a grief curve ball and life throws us some serious lemons we tend to doubt our own innate power and it sets us on the back foot. 

FYI those thoughts went through my head and it still made over $40k…

(that’s why we take messy action around here)

I am no longer on the back foot, I’ve healed more this past year than I probably healed over 50 lifetimes (lol) and I am ready for members club 2.0 - it’ll just look and feel different and it will be infused with the lessons I learned not only from last year but from the past 7 years of running this coaching business. 

Success is determined by how many times you’re willing to get in the arena and go again and also how many of the learnings you actually apply. 

The reality is, my business gets to serve me while it serves my clients. I get to feel valued and cared for while I value and care for others. I get to take space when I need it and those in my containers get to do the same. 

‘Entraumaneurship’ is what I call it, we’re moving away from our trauma responses and childhood coping patterns and into more conscious leadership and business. 

By the way, this has nothing to do with professionalism - that word can suck my 🍆

Now, here’s a few lovely excerpts from our time spent on retreat 

For those of you asking when the next one is, let’s get through the next 5-Day Challenge and members club launch - for now, head to brookenolly.com to go on the retreat waitlist 💖

Here’s to…

Brooke’s website: https://brookenolly.com/

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