“Tribalism is community for lonely narcissists.” - David Brooks

“Seasons of suffering kick us in the ass. They are foghorns that blast us out of our complacency and warn us we are heading for the wrong life.”

I’ve been reading The Second Mountain by David Brooks and damn, talk about wisdom banger after wisdom banger.

After today’s call in our 5-Day Challenge, there’s some excerpts I’d like to share with you.

In our group call today, I soft launched the Messy Action Members Club, an online community for female artists, with an entrepreneurial spirit, that want to heal, feel, love, self actualise and monetise their creative ideas for a better world.

The premise for MAMC is community, connection, collaboration, support & freedom. Freedom from individualistic suffering so we’re free to belong to something that will propel us into purpose far larger than our own egoic desires. That is how I define self actualisation.

I was in the bath this evening (Day 4 was all about rest and yielding) and these excerpts from the book struck a few chords:

- “Individualism taken too far leads to tribalism”

- “Tribalism seems like a way to restore the bonds of community. It certainly does bind people together. But it’s actually the dark twin of community.”

- “Community is connection based on mutual affection.”

- “Tribalism is connection based on mutual hatred.”

- “Community is based on common humanity; tribalism on common foe.”

- “Tribalism is always erecting boundaries and creating friend/enemy distinctions.”

- “The tribal mentality is a warrior mentality based on scarcity.”

- “Tribalism is community for lonely narcissists.” (um, wow)

“Suffering teaches us gratitude. Suffering puts you in solidarity with others who suffer.”

“Interestingly, few people, respond to suffering by seeking pleasure. Nobody says, I lost my child, therefore I should go out and party. They say, I lost my child, and therefore I am equipped to help others who have lost their child. People realise that shallow food won’t satisfy the deep hunger and fill the deep emptiness that suffering reveals. Only spiritual food will do that. Many people respond to pain by practicing generosity.”

“Finally, suffering shatters the illusion of self-sufficiency, which is an illusion that has to be shattered if any interdependent life is going to begin.”

“The normal reaction to a season of suffering is to try to get out of it. Address the symptoms. Have a few drinks. Play a few records. Move on.”

“The right thing to do when you are in moments of suffering is to stand erect in the suffering. Wait. See what it has to teach you. Understand that your suffering is a task that, if handled correctly, with the help of others, will lead to enlargement, not diminishment.”

I hope you enjoy these excerpts as much as I did.

See you for our last call tomorrow at 2:30pm NZT 💖🦢🧨