Why Do We Always Persevere When We Should Quit?

Towards the end of 2021 I solo hiked the Kepler track. I’d recently hit my head snowboarding and was still moving through the effects of a concussion (the depression was brutal). I’d also recently been single vaccinated and wound up in hospital 3 separate nights because of heart palpations to which the doctor prescribed me codeine… (bonkers). 

I’m not sure what I was thinking but I ended up doing the Kepler anyway. This is how I used to operate, minimal self compassion and a push push mentality. 

The Kepler is a 60km hike, I just found this (had I known this at the time, I’m not sure I would have done it). 

The views were glorious, the Kea’s were relentless and… I lost so many toenails and had the worst blisters of my life. I was also by myself the entire time (which I usually love).

I’ll never forget feeling like I couldn’t go on, like I’d have to get airlifted out because the blister and toe pain was so excruciating. The downward trek to the hut felt like infinity. I’d stop, howl, scream fuck, yell, beg and… carry on.

When I got to the final hut (Moturau) I saw this on the bulletin board.

The walk out the following day was about 1.5 hours and only 6km - all completely flat, too. My fitness was never the issue, it was my effing 🥾’s. I’d already completed 54km but I knew when I saw the sign that it was my sign to book the boat then and there. To finally practice self compassion, even though I was nearly at the finish line. Old me would pride herself on always persevering, no matter what. This needed to shift.

I called up, the guy on the other line said “it’ll be $290 unless you can get other trampers to join you” - I told him to come either way.

No one joined me and it’s the best $290 I’ve ever spent. He took me on my own private jet-boat ride and we went really fast 💨🤣

As promised on the sign, he took me to the local pub in Te Anau, I got a burger, met his wife (who sold me some honey) and I drove back to Queenstown that night. 

I was bursting with gratitude that I actually quit, for once in my life, that I actually chose something that would be of benefit to me. 

Why am I telling you this story? 

Because I work with a lot of women that don’t fu***** quit, that persevere when perseverance is the last thing they ought to be doing. These women are relentless optimists and it burns them out, over and over again. 

They persevere in relationships and marriages that are well past their use by date. 

They persevere with programs, memberships, clients and courses that they’re no longer inspired by.  

They persevere when every fibre of their being is telling them to stop. 

They persevere through ridiculously unrealistic standards and lose self trust because they ‘failed’ to meet them.

Why do they continue to persevere? 

Because they are still operating from childhood wounding “if I just keep going it’ll get better” “if I just persevere and achieve this next milestone, then I’ll be ok” “if I achieve this, then I’ll be loveable and worthy” - we all know life doesn’t work like this. There is no gold star awarded for completion of the Kepler track or the chronic tolerance of running a business that isn’t paying you enough money. 

I was walking yesterday, December 27th, 2024 through the forest by my house, wearing a pair of Keen hiking boots I purchased in Dec 2022 because a doc warden recommended them on that Kepler hike. She swore I’d never get a blister if I purchased these shoes. This was my 4th pair of hiking boots. I still have all of them in my outdoor storage closet. 

I was desperate bc I get the worst blisters from hiking boots. I’ve taken them on neighbourhood walks and all they’ve done is give me blisters and pinch my feet.

So… what is the moral of the story here? 

Do I persevere? They’ve been on many short hikes and every single time I get heel blisters. They’re not comfortable. I’ve broken them in. Do I keep persevering? 

The answer is… no.

I’ve had Keen’s, Colombia’s, Kathmandu’s and Salomon’s. All of them have sucked. I have also persevered with all of them. It’s time to let them all go and try a trail runner. 

Final moral of the story…

Please let go of that thing or person or both that you keep persevering with, hoping it will get better, it likely won’t. 

I will continue to get blisters and you will continue to get frustrated. 

What comes to mind for you? Trust that whatever is present requires some journaling and self enquiry. 

Questions to ponder in your journal

1. Where am I persevering and feeling robbed of my life force? 

2. Why am I so afraid to let go? 

3. What would be free’d up if I gave myself permission to let it go? 

Here’s to…

Brooke’s website: https://brookenolly.com/

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